DEVIL’S ISLAND featuring Zacthelocust

August 23, 2024 therazorsedge Devil's Island Comments Off on DEVIL’S ISLAND featuring Zacthelocust

DEVIL'S ISLAND featuring Zacthelocust

Welcome to this weeks edition of Devil's Island! Every week we maroon a band or artist on the island and see what they get up to, how they cope with being all alone on a small island in the middle of the ocean. It's not your average desert island and we'll see just how each person copes with the extreme conditions.

This week when we arrived at Devil's Island we find Zacthelucts sat on the beach. The island is far from their home, so how did they end up here and how did they cope with life on Devil's Island? 

Find out now...    

Welcome to The Razors'e Edge and our somewhat lovely, warm desert island. Don't worry about it's name I'm sure it's not as bad as that would suggest. 

You're marooned here on this island, but before you ended up shipwrecked you chose one album that you couldn't live without. Which album did you each chose and why?

Ash: SSSHHHH!!! Did you guys hear that? Sounded a lot like someone captioning our predicament and then asking a random question about saving an album, surely it can’t be there is only the four of us here. Anyway I have something to announce, I managed to save something from the ship, and no Rob before you ask if it wasn't the food.

Rob: ahhh dude what’s better than food, I hope to god it’s a whole wheel of cheese but given you said not food I guess it’s off the cards. Would have to be Led Zeppelin IV, It already lives rent free in my head but I guess if there’s one to hold on too..

Ash: and no Keryn it wasn’t the booze either…

Keryn: May as well give up now then and take my chances with the sharks, however I managed to grab Enema of the state by Blink 182!! I could listen to that all day every day, perfect pop punk on every track!

Archie: I saw this floating in the wreckage on the way over here and I had to grab it, it's the ACDC Highway To Hell album. This Album will always be a favourite of mine. It's the reason I play guitar. And it's a great album with Angus Young shredding and Bon Scott's vocals just amazing. My dad had it on CD and we'd always be on long drives in the car and just have that on repeat. I'll always remember that - some of my best memories.

Ash: That's weird I also managed to save an album, Moving Pictures by Rush, it pushed me to become the player I am today... outstanding how we managed to save these albums that are a part of ourselves, now then… How do we listen to them?

Just behind that palm tree is a shack for each of you to stay in, with enough space for you to put up a poster on the wall of one album cover. What album cover do you each chose?

Ash: There's that voice again! Are you sure you guys ain’t hearing this? Ahh this island must be getting to me already, it’s only a matter of time eating Robs sand castles and shaking sticks at the sea… anyway, I found us somewhere to sleep, there’s a shack behind that palm tree,… was easy to find actually, almost as if I knew it was there,…. My bunk is the one with the 2112 poster above it.
Rob: Ahh and there’s my humble abode! There amongst the crevasse, and there hung with pride.. The Offspring: Americana poster , Why? Why the hell not!!
Keryn: I heard nothing, Ash I think you're losing it, I have Green Day's Insomniac album cover. Always find something weird and interesting there! Would take my mind off being stuck on this island, now pass me the rum!!
Archie: Ash, I'm glad you're finally hearing it, I've been hearing voices for years. I thought it was just me lol I'd go with Green Day Dookie. That's an awesome album cover that could stare at it for hours and still find something new on there.

There's also a bar on this here island. But alas each of you only get to choose one drink for the entirety of your stay. What's your tipple of choice?

Ash: Seriously! Where is that voice coming from, tell me y’all heard it that time. It’s said there was a bar here somewhere… Ahh there it is down the beach look… behind Keryn’s special alone time teepee he built, it’s an ice cold brewdog for me… wait I have a question for our mysterious narrator, is that just one drink to last us our stay or an endless supply of one drink of choose, please say it’s the second one… I could never make one solo tin last that long.
Rob: Boys he’s really starting to worry me with this voice, even more than usual. Actually he does answer himself a lot does our Ashley so I guess that’s normal. I’m going to assume it’s unlimited refills, so yea I mean an endless supply of Kirk & Sweeney Gran Reserva Superior rum for me please drive if you could magic up some ice that would be great but without is fine, if you could send a shipping container full to start that would be enough for a bit
Keryn: Ye he’s losing it alright, when did he fashion that coconut 2 piece?. Spiced Rum for me!! And it better not be just the 1 bottle. And Ash, less of the alone time teepee please!!
Ash: ahhh man, just give me 5 minutes.
Keryn: THWACK! (Sound of empty rum bottle hitting Ash’s head) …. I said No!
Archie: I'm with you Ash where the hell is that voice coming from, did it just say there is a bar here? I'm really starting to like this island, I'd go with good old Captain Morgan's. I'd usually drink it with coke but since we're stuck here on this island I can learn to drink it straight, beggars can't be choosers lol. And since we're all stuck here we can finally do some fishing 🤣

Your suitcases were lost when your ship sank, but you each managed to salvage one item of band merch. What’s the merch and for what band?

Ash: Right, you all heard that this time!! I’m not going senile, just found my nothing but thieves shirt washed up on the shore, it’s the biggest shirt I own so I can use it as a tent and get out of this sun… Seeing as Keryn won’t share his teepee.
Rob: I’ve found my “shrunken” Motley Crue tshirt which is great because if we are on the castaway diet I might stand a chance of fitting back into it
Keryn: I heard something that time but Ash will you cool it with the Teepee!! I have my Dark Side Of the Moon mug, so I can be sophisticated drinking my endless supply of rum!
Ash: ahh dude come on!!
Keryn: I’ve just finished my second bottle of rum and it’s coming your way now shut up!
Archie: Whehey! I just found my Sum 41 t-shirt I love this shirt bought it when I seen them back in 2017

You’re sat on the island thinking “I’m stuck here on this island with my bandmates for eternity”… who would you rather have been shipwrecked with?

Ash: Boys don’t panic, but I’m pretty sure it said we are stuck here! Weirdly enough I was just thinking I’m stuck here with you guys for eternity, well other than my misses and kids there is no one I’d rather be here with, Cheers! PPPFFFFTTTHHH! That brewdog got warm fast.
Rob: Rod Stewart and Boris Johnson
Ash: Rob are you mental, sometimes I often wonder how you dress yourself… Boris can’t swim!
Rob: ahh man this heat stroke is getting to me! No, what Ash said, definitely the wife and kids.
Keryn: My wife (I wouldn't need the teepee then!). Did I just say that out loud!? Anyway... also my 3 daughters. I'd miss them too much. But being stuck here with you boys ain't so bad, you can use the teepee any time.Damn!
Ash: Woo Hoo!
Archie: I feel like I'll be in trouble if I don't say "the wife". However, we're stuck on an island with what sounds like a well decorated shack, an album each of our choice, our drink of choice, this island sounds awesome I'm happy to stay here with the boys and we'll call it "Zacthelocust Island"
DEVIL’S ISLAND featuring Zacthelocust

There's a walkman in your pocket, on the tape inside is the recording of the one live show that stands out for you. It could be any show, from any band, anywhere in the world. What show is on that walkman?

Ash: You heard the man check your pockets! Found it, it’s Queen at Live Aid and a load of seaweed
Rob: Mine has Thin Lizzy live and dangerous, that’s going to get me through all that the island throws at me
Keryn: I have Stereophonics Live at Morfa Stadium 1999 in mine, raw energy, great songs, I remember the day well, I was 16. It would always put a smile on my face.
Ash: so does the Teepee
Keryn: I told you to zip your lip, actually I could listen to it in the teep... Damn!!
Archie: The Chili Peppers live at Slane Castle. Such a great gig, an hour and half of just great tunes.

You're getting desperate, you decide the only course of action is to put a message in a bottle and hope someone finds it. Your message could be to any member of any band, but should be the most suitable for a rescue attempt. Who is it?

Ash: Guys I can’t take this heat and hunger anymore, even Archie is starting to look tasty, I’m getting desperate as the voice from above just said… give me that bottle and the coal and paper, “Dear Dave Grohl, please get us the fuck off this island, you get about a bit your bound to be passing over, your the nicest guy in rock and roll so I know you’ll help us out” “P.S bring more beer”
Rob: After a bottle or two of rum I’ve decided the best course of action was to send it to Sting from the Police, because I’m sure he’s done it before and I quote “I hope that someone gets my…” …ahh crap, I don’t think anyone got the message.
Keryn: That will teach, ew! Someone please burn the teepee and everything inside it!! And bring more rum!! I don't care who it is!
Archie: Bruce Dickinson, another amazing guy. I read somewhere that he has a pilot licence. And I'm sure I read somewhere that he has helped out on rescue missions in a helicopter. He'll be the man for the job.

You've been stuck here a while and food supplies are running low. There's only one thing for it... which fellow band member gets sacrificed to help the others survive?

Ash: Right, that’s it! I can’t take it anymore! One of you is for the chop boys and no it’s not murder because the narrator told me to do it! Inside Ash’s head: (Hhhmmm Archie may taste of rizzlers, Keryn is a bit aged, Rob looks succulent like a young plump lamb). Rob come and stand next to this rusty machete and roaring fire for a second.
Rob: Hhhmmm It’s a process of elimination, Archie has less meat than the rest so he’s safe, Keryn might take a while to catch so my logic says to just eat one of ashes arms, deaf leopards drummer managed just fine with one arm so he will just have to do the same!
Archie: Rob is thinking out loud again boys, beware!
Keryn: Sorry Ash but me and you do seem to be the more robust members of the band!
Ash: easy now
Keryn: Well I can't sacrifice myself!
Ash: You'll have to catch me first!
Archie: Personally I don't think I'd be the best for eating, I'm the definition of skin and bone! I think you three should just fight to the death while I get the fire started.

Finally, when the ship sank you each managed to save one person from the wreckage. That person is the one musician that has influenced your career the most, shaped your way of thinking and your outlook on life. Who did you save?

Ash: Guys…. I’ve been hiding my dad behind the shack this whole time, I managed to save him from the wreckage as the guy in the sky just said, by the way, while we are on the topic I’ve been thinking we need a name for the guy in the sky. How about Gibson?  Anyway I had to hide my dad, Rob has been looking at everyone dribbling like he’d devour them in one since we’ve been stranded here. Wait a minute! Gibson said that to all of us. That means you’re hiding people too!
Rob: I’ve been hiding my mukka Ozzy Ozbourne, he helps me remember to do what you love, and live with absolutely no apologies!
Keryn: Well may as-well come clean, I’m hiding John Lennon. One half of the greatest musical genius there ever has been. The Beatles were and always will be the greatest ever.
Ash: I think you mean a quarter?
Archie: guys I just found Angus Young coming out of keryns teepee with a big smile on his face. One of my biggest influences is playing guitar.

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